I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
