i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
