we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
