i don't want you to think of me as your TA
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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