The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
