I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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