i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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