Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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