DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
