I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
