grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
