Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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