Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
