I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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