He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
