Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
