No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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