her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
