Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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