Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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