he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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