so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
