So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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