he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
