kristin has been a bad kristin
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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