Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
