toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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