Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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