You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
