Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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