That's intense
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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