you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
