Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
