Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
