If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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