u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Randomize
