omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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