God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
