I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
