I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Randomize
