I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
