All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
