I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
