dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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