Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
