and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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