he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
