I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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