im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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