Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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