Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
